To kick things off on a totally egotistical note, friends and family keep telling me I should blog. Now, I've done the blog thing before, and, when I wasn't getting threatened with a libel suit by my college professor (he couldn't handle the truth), found it a quite enjoyable outlet. And since I am definitely in need of an enjoyable outlet these days, I think I'll give it a whirl. However, my postings in the previous blog were typically limited to obsessive rehashing of my awkward dates, and obsessive worrying that I would never get a real job. In order to avoid repeating history (libel threat included), I need to establish some ground rules for myself. Friends and family, please hold me to these:
The Rules of the Blog
1. I will not discuss work. Much. The reasons for this are two-fold: 1) While getting fired might prove a liberating adventure in the end, it's not a life goal at this point, and 2) I already discuss work too much. In fact, if we talk in person, feel free to tell me to shut my yap when I start yammering about work. (Funny how things have changed since the days when all I wanted was any old job in the glamorous field of marketing.)
2. I will not write things about people that I would not tell them directly. This will prevent all manner of mean-spirited and neurotic postings. The aforementioned date-rehashing falls into this category as well, because I would not say to a date, "And then! When you opened my car door and your hand brushed my back! I got shivers!" Caveat: Celebrities do not count as people and I will write anything about them that I please. Let's start now: Mel Gibson is responsible for all the wars in this world. Oh, snap.
3. I will not write things that are profane or vulgar, despite how much I enjoy both qualities. This blog will be Grandma-friendly, Mom-friendly, and workplace-friendly. I don't promise that it will be interesting.
End of lunch hour. The rules may be added to as I deem necessary, but not today. It's back-to-work time. And that's all I'm going to say about it.