Thursday, November 1, 2007

Childen: Why don't they watch where they're going?

I made the mistake of going to the Mall of America last night. I didn't even consider the fact that it was Halloween. I should have, because it turns out that the MOA hosts trick-or-treating, which is crap for so many reasons. Here are a few:

1. Going to the MOA is a harrowing enough experience even with normal traffic levels, so when you add to the mix several thousand short people who can't walk, the suck level increases exponentially.
2. I have no respect for indoor trick-or-treating. I don't care what kind of neighborhoods those kids live in; they should be out freezing their diapers off and working for that candy, just like the other Midwestern kids have done for decades. In my day, we wore parkas over our costumes, and no one could tell what we were actually dressed up as, and we LIKED IT.
3. PARENTS. It's bad enough that you let your toddlers wander aimlessly into the paths of people who are actually at the mall for legitimate reasons. Don't make it worse by stopping dead in the middle of a busy walkway and repeating, "Whitney! Look at Minnie Mouse! Whitney! Lookit Minnie Mouse! WhitneylookitMinnieMouse!" over and over and over. I'M WALKING HERE.
4. Macy's was playing a special Halloween soundtrack, which, if I'm not mistaken, actually featured a Chipmunks rendition of "People Are Strange."

Umm. I think that's all I've got for now. I also couldn't find a reasonably priced black shrug to wear to Em's wedding, which was the whole stinking reason I went to the mall, but that irritation was not Halloween-related. Also, I'm so broke that it's not even depressing, it's just infuriating.

I pretty much hate everything today.

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