Today was not an all-star day for the Siblings Herr. The plan was to get on the road at 9 a.m. Unfortunately, when I tried to start my car this morning, Blue Steel was not having it. I've since renamed Blue Steel; the car will now be known as Big Pussy, a la The Sopranos, in light of its pussiness and cold-hearted betrayal.
Jon was not pleased to learn that driving duties were again falling to him, particularly because he was sporting some very uncomfortable footwear. See, Jon stayed with some friends last night, and the friends' dog, Seamus, is very fond of Jon- so fond, in fact, that Seamus managed to peel Jon's insoles out of his boots in the night and chew them to pieces. It's kind of sweet, actually. I think Seamus wanted something to remember him by.
I called poor Emily and woke her up so I could leave her my spare key in case of a snow emergency, hoping that by some miracle my car would actually start. We bought some insoles for Jon at Walgreen's and got on the road about two hours late, then had a fine time plowing through whiteouts for half the drive. (The other half was spent arguing over what to listen to. Jon tolerated Car Talk but took a violent dislike to Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me, which he counteracted with some gangsta rap.)
Forty years later, when we finally reached Sioux Falls, we sat around with the folks for a while, then headed to dinner. I called the snow emergency hotline in the car and then dropped a major f-bomb upon hearing the news. Fun for the whole family. By that time, Em was marooned in Bloomington, though she gamely offered to head back tomorrow morning before my 8 a.m. tow time. But when I checked the weather (forecast temp for 8 a.m. tomorrow: zero) it seemed too much to hope that Big Pussy would perform any better than today.
Solution: get the car towed now and pay a four day storage fee. Better than the city impound, right? Luckily, Papa Herr is subsidizing this plan and I am beginning to appreciate the benefits of accepting parental assistance when it is offered. Now I'm just hoping that the temp was the only real problem and that my dumb skank of a car will start on Wednesday.
Well, now that I've enriched all of our lives with way too many details about stuff that doesn't matter, happy Festivus to everyone. I hope you all get Playstations, or whatever it is that the kids are hot for these days. Don't go crazy on the egg nog. Warmer temps and better days ahead.