Thursday, January 31, 2008

Oh, there's a rally, all right... in my HEART.

Favreau, I'ma bring it right to you.

Dear Kate,

Thanks for signing up to join Barack Obama for a Rally in Minneapolis.

Here are the details:

Rally with Barack Obama in Minneapolis, MN
Saturday, February 2nd
Doors open at 1:30 p.m.

Target Center
600 First Avenue North
Minneapolis, MN 55403

For more information:


Monday, January 28, 2008

Don't read this.

I don't know about you guys, but I have been super pumped about The Complete Jane Austen on PBS. No, seriously. No. Shut up. I love love love it like the sad spinster that I am. I want to start a Jane Austen tribute band called the Spinster Sisters. We'd sing songs with titles like "Mr. Darcy, Your Attentions Do Cause Me to Color in the Cheeks," and "Willoughby, You're a Bad Bad Cad." We'd rock pretty hard.

I may or may not have watched Sense and Sensibility for the bajillionth time yesterday, in anticipation of the Mansfield Park showing on TV. I really wish that the Uptown would have a midnight showing of Sense and Sensibility, because I think they could get a pretty great crowd, and I really want to watch this movie in the company of other people who will shout "whore!" at the screen with me when Lucy pulls out Edward's handkerchief and blows her nose on it. (Seriously. what. a whore.) It's not as much fun to do it alone in my apartment. (You can get the DVD at Target for about $5, and you totally should so that you can be like me and watch it 3 days in a row- once by itself, once with the Emma Thompson commentary, and once with Ang Lee's. Umm... did I just confess that?)

Mark your calendars for February 10, 17, and 24, by the way. Why? Because those are the dates of the six hour Pride and Prejudice miniseries starring one Colin Firth (NOT starring Jena Malone, who pretty much ruined the recent Keira Knightley version with her raging suckitude).

ALSO: Please direct your attention to this Men of Austen diagram, which helpfully converts the characters' fortunes in pounds into today's US dollars.

If Us Weekly put out an issue on Austen characters, I would buy that.

Oh, and there are books, too. Yeah. Read the books.

Please disregard this entry.

Caucus for two.

Eh meh geh, Obama is coming to Minneapolis on Saturday.

Call me, Favreau.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

$240 Worth of Pudding

$600 of free money??? Thanks, Uncle Sam! This almost makes up for that whole trampling-the-Constitution thingy!

I'm torn about what to do with it, though. If checks come in June, I'll hopefully be free of credit card debt, and I'd like to use the money for my emergency fund. But, since the whole point of the checks is to stimulate the economy, is it my patriotic duty to get that cash a'circulatin' at my local drinking establishment? Or maybe I could get a whole boatload of those little American flags that clip on your car windows...

Does anyone have expertise in this area? Please advise.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008


Meet Jon Favreau. No, not that one. That one. He’s 26, single, and Barack Obama’s head speechwriter. In other words: HOTT.

Dear Jon: They say my sights are set too high. They say I’m too neurotic; too disagreeable to ever engage a partner in a common purpose: the purpose of making out. But in this year - at this defining moment in history - I challenge you to do what the “professionals” say you shouldn't do: Come to Minneapolis and make out with me. We are one people, Jon, and the time for making out has come.

(“The rigors of this campaign have prevented any sort of serious relationship,” he told the New York Times. But hey, Jon? Just so you know, I’ll most likely still be single in November.)

Monday, January 21, 2008

In which I recognize chefs and forget anniversaries

Hey gang, I know we've spent the weekend enduring sub-zero temperatures and even worse sub-zero windchills, but you know what I'm thinking would just be the cherry on this sundae? More snow. Oh, wait, it's snowing? Awesome. I love this place.

MLK day should be in the summer, so we'd at least have the potential for nice weather on our day off. Geez, MLK. Way to have a crap birthday, jerk.

I shouldn't be updating my blog right now. I should be writing an article about denture care. Clearly, I'm going to continue updating my blog.

I braved the elements yesterday to make a trip to the Wedge, mainly because I'm having a love affair with Parmigiano Reggiano and was nearly out. I saw a woman I thought I recognized there and realized after a few minutes that it was Brenda Langton. I considered saying hello, but thought better when I tried to imagine what I would actually say to Brenda Langton. "Hey, Ms. Langton, someday when I'm not so poor I hope to frequent one of your fine establishments. Also, C.J. is a crap 'reporter' and should have her credentials revoked. 'Kay, thanks, bye!" Yeah, no. I did not say hello to Brenda Langton.

I also did not say hello to Thom Pham on either of the two occasions that I've seen him. (One of which was at an Asian restaurant that was not his. Checking out the competition, I guess?)

Don't ask how I've learned to recognize the local restaurateurs. I have no idea. This knowledge occupies the space in my head that should probably be devoted to significant things, like my parents' anniversary, or happy moments with my now-departed dogs, or the first time so-and-so said the l-word. But no, I recognize chefs, or people I've never spoken to at my gym, or the girl who sold me on the Ubriaco at Surdyk's a year and a half ago. (And it all comes back to cheese.)

I may have to leave this coffee shop and go home to No-Internet-Land if I ever hope to write this article. Okay, yes. That is the responsible thing to do, and when I'm finished I can reward myself with... I don't know, something that doesn't cost any money or entail leaving my apartment. I'll have to think on that one.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Mmm, cider.

A pearl of wisdom, one week in to the office fitness program: A steady diet of cider, pizza, and Skittles, combined with no exercise whatsoever, will not help you reach your goal. That's a freebie for you kids, 'cause I like ya.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Excuse me, I have a very important announcement to make:

Team Krindy totally OWNED trivia at the Leaning Tower last night. And you know that Leaning Tower trivia is hard.

I can't really take much credit for our success, though I was the one who brought Zach, who ended up being co-MVP with Morgan, thanks to his pulling Mars Attacks out of nowhere. (Mars Attacks! As soon as he said it, I said, "That's just dumb enough to be right.") And Morgan turns out to have an encyclopedic knowledge of world leaders.

Winning is so delicious. Next time I'm going to try it with a side of cheesy bread.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Sometimes, when I'm feeling lost or troubled and I can't sleep, a chirpy voice in my head says, "Don't worry, Kate, God has a plan for you."

Then I remember that I don't believe in God. Then things pretty much start back at square one.

At least in the morning there's coffee. This morning also brought a special gift from my friends at Sallie Mae, who wrote to let me know that I have just qualified for a special interest rate discount on my student loan! Thanks, Sal! I will surely do my best to continue paying on time for the next 13 to 15 years.

On a related financial note, Operation: Pay Off Credit Card Before Birthday is still on track. I'm probably jinxing myself by stating that, but there it is. If I succeed, I can move on to Operation: Build Up Emergency Cushion. And after that, Operation: Breathe a Little Easier and Get Some New Clothes. And Maybe Travel Somewhere.

Yodlee Money Center has been very instrumental in the process. Check it out, it makes expense analysis pie charts!

Please note my custom subcategories for alcohol expenditures. I'm pretty proud of those. Also please note that I bought contact lenses last month, thus the large medical expense is not due to VD treatment or anything sinister.

Saturday, January 12, 2008


Patrick found a picture of the "DANGER LEVEL" sign.
Note to self: It's generally considered bad form to cry on a date. In future, must reserve crying for more appropriate times. Like after sex.

In totally unrelated news, I went to Gameworks with the Little today. The original plan was to go ice skating, so when I picked her up I asked, "Is there any particular place you'd like to go?" By which I meant "any particular rink." But then she said, "the arcade." I was dressed a little warmly for the arcade, but it was the first time she'd ever expressed any preference for an activity, so I thought I'd go with it.

They really don't make arcades like they used to. That's my official review of Gameworks. They did have an awesome air hockey table though. (If I ever have a basement, I'ma put an air hockey table in it.) The Little ended up trading in her three zillion tickets for a bag of Pop Rocks and some Tootsie Rolls and I took her home all sugared up and jangly, which makes me the best Big ever. (Additional note to self: Remember to vacuum Pop Rocks out of back seat before the weather gets hot.)

And now I will attempt to work on a Saturday night. Why? Because chicks who cry on dates have a lot of free Saturday nights.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Big news. Made it a whole lap around the dome last night without walking. And didn't even feel like I might cough up blood. This is huge, considering that through my entire childhood, I dreaded the day of the President's Challenge mile run more than any other day. Suck on it, Seventh Grade Phys Ed Teacher! I'll run on my own terms! And I chew gum now aaaaall the time. (Yeah, how's that program working these days, anyway? What's that you say? Kids are fatter now than ever before? Huh. Well, good luck with that. More forced runs are probably the best solution. And you should probably blow your whistle more. And be an even bigger misogynist prick.)

Our office weight loss contest is starting again today. Some of you know that I won this two years ago. There were a number of factors contributing to my success that year, but chiefly it was the money. First prize was $500. I was still an intern then and would have done anything- would have licked the floors clean every night- for $500. And I definitely had the pounds to lose. But this year will be a kinder, gentler program for me; pretty much just a few holiday pounds to shed. Oh, and that whole "toning" and "firming" business. Maybe soon I can offer you all tickets to the gun show.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Nine minute post!

1. Automotive Technology & Maintenance class! This has my name all over it. The next crappy oil change joint that tells me I need $1700 of work is going to get a well educated boot up the ass.

2. Book club tonight! Always a highlight of the month.

3. Running at the dome Thursday! Joe's training for a marathon... or half marathon. I forget. He keeps asking me if I want to. I don't, as evidenced by my inability to make it even one lap around the dome without walking. I don't know why Joe keeps me as a running partner.

4. Ice skating with the Little on Saturday! I haven't been skating for about two years. Let's hope this doesn't end with a trip to the ER. That would not make a fuzzy memory for the kid.


Monday, January 7, 2008

Time out. Has anyone else seen the ads featuring this fellow? He's gorgeous. He costs me an extra 30 seconds every time I send a message on myspace, because I have to watch the same grainy internet video of him logging in to his Match account and being subtly excited about all the matches he's surely making.

That is all.

Was this weekend swell, or what? I love how Minnesotans rush outdoors to take advantage of these respites from the cold. I went ralking (that’s my term for running/walking, but mostly walking) around the Lake of the Isles yesterday, and there were so many shiny happy people out and about. It was like Sesame Street or something. I also got a car wash, which I was irrationally excited about. I’m feeling strangely optimistic about the weather and the time of year. I know it’s only January, but the days are getting longer, you know? I mean, we’re only three months away from summer being not quite just around the corner!

Umm. I guess I had a fistful of happy pills for breakfast today. I can’t really explain it.

Patrick and I watched Dr. No last night. Here are the two best things in Dr. No:

1. The “DANGER LEVEL” meter in Dr. No’s lab, and
2. At the very end, when Honey gets down on her knees in front of James on the boat. They tone it down a few seconds later, but that cannot have been an editing accident.

We also watched Eastern Promises, but that was slightly less fun, what with the graphic throat-slittings and whatnot.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Actual phone conversation with Brendan, a.k.a. Jerkface:
Kate: I heard that this was the 10th snowiest December on record in Minnesota.
Brendan: I have a banana tree in my backyard.


Resolution: put away my laundry. I know it sounds minor, but if I can stick with this one it's going to change my whole 420-square-foot world. Seriously. Since the state of my apartment is usually somewhere between "Miss Havisham" and "the Collyer brothers," I'm hoping that tidiness in one factor (clothing) will carry over to the rest (books, newspapers, knitting projects, recycling, etc. etc. etc.). It's the dumb resolutions that you keep. Take the year I said I would floss regularly. It's still working. I mean, I don't know if you've checked out my gums lately, but they're pretty stellar.

Also, decrease body fat by two percent. This means that I will have to develop an actual strength training program, as opposed to my current practice of occasionally glancing at my dumbbells while watching TV. Whatever. I'll figure it out.