Oh, hey there fella. You liked my profile on the thingamajig? Well, thanks. Gee, you seem attractive as well and it is evident that you can write a sentence, which is pretty much all it takes for me to be interested, so here's my number. Oh, what's that? You were showing my profile to your roommate, and he already knows me? Because I went out with your roommate last year?
JESUS H. CHRIST. I QUIT.